Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Sports Still Happening

Sports Still Happening


By Barbara Holm


The green grass of the basketball court glistens with sweat and the dew of the morning. The crowd roars with noises as they cram enough people in one arena to induce a demophobia attack. Reportedly, across the world, sports are still being played.

Soccer, baseball, cricket, football, American football, swimming, and more are currently being practiced and perfected. At this very moment, a child is being driven to a little league practice somewhere, sobbing in the backseat, despite the fact that dad already told him/her to buck up.

“Yeah, it’s still going on,” grumbled grizzled Coach Johnson from under his handlebar mustache. “We got a match next week against Liberty. It could determine whether we go to state or not this year.”

Surprising to some, sports also continue on a professional level. Athletes make millions of dozens of dollars while an audience of people watches. Invested emotionally in the game, the crowd paints their faces, dresses, and even dances in humiliating ways to show their support.

“A sport,” explained professional basketball player David Steve, “is a competitive activity based on sweating that usually involves rules such as ‘out of bounds.’ Often a sport relies on a point system.”

In addition to the livelihood of the athletes, sports have also spawned a vast industry of employment for out of work cheerleaders, peanut salesmen, and foam finger factory workers.

 “It’s great,” said professional cheerleader Stephanie. “Before this I was cheering on the street for change. And these uniform skirts are pretty much dry clean only.”

Despite the delight of the fans and the benefit to the economy, the continuation of sports has been met with some criticism. “One time a jock knocked the books out of my hands!” said a grown up adult who never got over the teasing of Bobby Hanson in eighth grade.






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